Yesterday, we celebrated this sweet girl being one month old… Be still my heart. Her beauty is captivating.
And today, we remember one month without her other half…
Tonight, I sit in my girls’ nursery alone, trying to think of the words to share here. There are so many things I could say. Sometimes I think people might get tired of me talking about losing our daughter. But then I remember…no one has to read these words. They are for her.
Most days, I still don’t know exactly how to feel. Alexis brings new adventure to my life daily. She is teaching me love and patience and grace in ways I’ve never known before.
But my Emmy…my sweet Emmy. Her absence brings an emptiness that words cannot explain. I honestly don’t think anyone can empathize with a parent who has lost a child…except another parent who has been in their shoes. Sympathize, yes…but not understand. The pain is real and raw and always present. Even on the best days.
I could write forever about this. The things I still don’t understand…the things I wish other people understood about who I am because of and in spite of this. The conflicting feelings always at play in my heart and in my head. But instead of more words, I want to share something even more powerful.
These images, taken by our friend Christy Lee of Cee Lee Photography through her affiliation with the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization, capture every emotion of the night our baby became an angel. They show the beauty and innocence of our sweet girls, the incredible love and strength of our family and the heartbreak of losing one of life’s most precious gifts. And they show all of these things in a way words cannot.
For the longest time, I did not want to share these moments with the world. They are intimate and precious and they are ours. But I started this blog to share our journey with you. We invited you in, and it has been and incredible blessing. Thank you all for being a blessing to our family. The support of our friends, love of our family and faith in God have helped us through the past month, and will continue to help us heal and grow through time. With His Grace, we will find our way.
Baby girl….I cannot wait to hold you again. Wait for me to come Home.