Tonight, when I was rocking your sister to sleep…I saw you. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. It shouldn’t surprise me…you looked so much like her. There’s a certain ways she tilts her chin…a particular expression she makes…that reminds me of you. It’s like a jolt to my system…it always catches me off guard. It makes my heart ache for you, but it also reminds me that you are always, always here with us.
Tonight, I let the tears flow for you. For the void in my heart. For the memories we will never get to make with you. I let myself feel that hurt.
But then, I wiped those tears away. And I thanked God for the memories we did get with you. Some Angel Mama’s don’t get even one day with their sweet babies. I did. And I thanked God that we always have a piece of you in your sister. You spent all but one day of your life by her side. You are kindred spirits. And I thanked God Lexi will always have you…maybe not in flesh, but in spirit.
Thank you for everything you gave us, sweet girl. You are a part of my soul now and forever. This token I wear around my neck says it all… “I will hold you in my heart until I hold you in heaven…”
Miss you most,