It’s a Thursday night. Which, for the previous 12 years of my life meant you would have found me firmly planted in front of the TV at 7 PM (sharp) fixated on the latest Derek and Meredith drama. Well…now Meredith and Riggs. I think? But, I honestly don’t know because…toddler in the house.
I digress. The point is, I stumbled upon this quote the other day. And although it is (mostly) just a ridiculous medical (sort of) TV drama, there are still very real things we can relate to. Like that one time, my girl Mer got it so right about grief….
Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn’t just death we have to grieve. It’s life, it’s loss, it’s change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, it has to hurt so bad… The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That’s how you stay alive when it hurts so much you can’t breathe. That’s how you survive. By remembering that one day somehow, impossibly, it won’t feel this way. It wont hurt this much. Grief comes in it’s own time for everyone in it’s own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can’t control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes and let it go when we can.
Because sometimes, it hurts so much I can’t breath. But I need to remind myself that it’s ok to just feel it. And let it go when I can.
Always, always thinking of my fellow angel mamas out there in their own stages of grief. Keep feeling it. Keep breathing. Know that God can change things on a dime. And even if you don’t have it all together – He does.