Dear Emmy…

It’s March 22. Today, we have lived on this earth for 22 months without you…quickly approaching 2 years.

The weight of your absence ebbs and flows like the salty sea. At times, I am at peace with it all. My heart is still and steady, and my soul rests in God’s plan for you. For us. Other times, the pain floods my body, seeps into my soul and and every part of me aches for you. Today was one of those days.

So today, I stopped at the end of the driveway and spent a few minutes “with” you…so much as I can. Emmy’s Place, we call it. And it truly is. All of us can feel you just a little more when we’re there. Like, you’re waiting for us. Waiting to gently whisper, it is well. Mama, I am well.

Emmy's Tree

And just when I needed it most, this little tree that we planted in your honor reminded me…you are not only well. You are alive. Just as God brings new life to a tree that has been bleak and barren through the cold winter, he also breathed new life into you the moment your little body left us. For we are not bound by flesh and bone. Through his mercy, you were no longer lying in a tiny little hospital bed with tubes and monitors binding your body. You were flying high, straight into His open arms.

And even on the hard days…especially on the hard days, I hear you whispering.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul

Miss you most baby girl,

Mama

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